Goodbye Papa #4 : The Funeral

It was an early day for us on Tuesday, the day of dad's final send off.

When we got to the Nirvana center, breakfast was laid out and ready.

Nasi lemak. This was an extra packed in for us because we did not make full use of the facilities (due to shortening of the wake from 2 days to 1 day). 

These towels were to be given to visitors as a token of appreciation.

I wouldn't usually eat this but since it would be a long day, I decided it would be wise to eat. The nasi lemak is Chinese style nasi lemak and nope, I did not like it. But my brother and my partner thought it was ok.

Our relatives all arrived on time. While waiting for the proceedings to start, my partner and I walked into the parlor to look at dad.

I was overcome with strong emotions and I broke down and cried. My partner held on to me and offered me his handkerchief. Oh dear. I did not expect to cry (again) so openly.

Soon we were all gathered in the room to prepare for the walk to the crematorium. It is not far, within walking distance (500m) but we arranged for a buggy to transport mum and my Tua Pek (dad's eldest brother).

At the crematorium, once we were seated, we were given a flower each. 

I took a photo of our flowers - mine, my partner's and my brother's.

Each of us lined up to put a flower on top of the casket. Once we were done, we went back to our seats to await further instructions. Shortly the MC requested us to stand up for the final send off.

I held on to my mum and as the casket moved into the chamber, we both cried. It was so so sad. 

After the send off, our relatives dispersed and we stayed behind to wait for the ashes. 

This is the cafeteria which is located at the end of the main building (where the funeral parlors are located). 

We had the option of catering lunch for the guests but we skipped this because we knew that most people would leave after the proceedings.

We sat at the open area to rest.

My sister-in-law treated us to drinks. Me and mum had the Kopi C Ais Kosong (so typical of me).

Sad to say it was very diluted. Soon my brother and sister-in-law left to send mum home to rest. My other brother and I stayed behind. Meanwhile one of the Nirvana agents joined us for a chit chat.

Soon we were called to the crematorium to collect the ashes. There is a custom (according to the agent) where family members are to pick up a bone each during the collection. This process is also a verification to assure us that we were picking up the bones of our beloved.

It seemed scary to me but when my brother and I entered the room, we realized that it was so clean and clinical. There were no elements of the macabre at all. It was just white bones, and we each picked one and placed it into a clear plastic bag.

Then we were ushered outside to wait while the staff collected all the remaining bones into the plastic bag which was securely tied and then placed into another white cloth bag.

I carried the bones and off we went to the Port Klang jetty for the scattering of the ashes bones. I can't say ashes because the bones were pretty much in chunks and not ground into fine ashes (as what we see on TV). We drove there with the Nirvana van leading us ahead.

When we got there, parking was quite a challenge as the road was narrow with limited space. But my brother managed to find a tight spot.

That's us waiting to board the boat.

It was very scenic I must say.

This is the most adventure I have had in a long long time.

I can't remember if I have had a boat ride before.

Although it drizzled on our way there, it was hot and sunny when we got to the jetty.

So my brother and I together with the Nirvana agent and a staff got onto the boat and off we went.

When we were at the jetty, I noticed that the Nirvana staff had a paper bag with him. I wondered what was inside.

As I scattered the bones, I whispered in the wind, Pa you are free now, go in peace and follow the light.

The Nirvana staff reached into the paper bag that he was carrying to uncover a paper box filled with white Chrysanthemum petals.

My brother and I were advised to scatter the petals into the waters. I thought that was a very sweet gesture.

With that, dad's final send off concluded and we made our way home.

Rest in peace Pa. One day we shall meet again.