Things People Do At The Supermarket That Makes Me Want to Punch Them

Today, I am going to RANT. I know, I know. I did say that after changing my diet, I am calmer and less prone to outbursts. But alas. Carnivore does not cure everything.

I still react to morons. If you don't want any negativity, then please skip this post.

Every time I go to the supermarket, there will be someone who will set me off.

  1. The Vegetable Auditor

This is the person who wants to buy just one head of lettuce but proceeds to inspect every package of lettuce, in slow motion, totally oblivious of other shoppers who want to buy the same item, and who have to wait patiently for them to complete their audit.

I suggest to such persons who want to pick the 100% perfect head of lettuce, please be considerate. If you see other people hovering near you, give way. Let them select their lettuce and then you continue with your audit. Better still, if that person is also a vegetable auditor, then you will get a taste of your own medicine.

2. The Aisle Blocker

This one parks their trolley right at the center of the aisle and then proceeds to either :

- chit chat with their spouse/family members/hangers on/whoever;

- stares at the products on the shelves for the longest time;

- disappears somewhere; or

- simply stands there while waiting for their shopping companion to select an item.

Please lah. Move your trolley to the side so that other people can pass through. And please be more alert. Don't stand there and daydream.

3. The Hypnotized Shopper

This particular variety is an interesting species. This person hogs the produce aisle (be it meat or vegetable section), stands there and stares at the items, as if mesmerized, with no intention of buying anything.

Under the hypnotic trance induced by the chicken/beef/fish/veggies, this person blocks the section and is deaf/blind to the existence of other shoppers who actually want to buy said produce. Sometimes there are 3 or 4 of such person staring at the same aisle, therefore forming an impenetrable blockade.

My advise to you (maybe you are too hypnotized/stoned to take note) is to be alert and aware of other human beings around you.

 4. The Delinquent Parent(s)

This person (or persons) is blind to their children's antics. I had the displeasure of witnessing a child who took each packet of lettuce and then tossed the vegetable (violently) back into the display bin.

One by one, each packet of lettuce had to suffer his deplorable activity. Knowing how fragile leafy greens are, imagine the damage done to the produce and how other customers will be denied the chance of buying lettuce that are in proper condition.

All this time, the Mother of the Year, was herself selecting the lettuce and believe me, she was aware of what her offspring was doing. But no, the child was not corrected, not one bit.

For heaven's sake. Educate your child. I shudder to think what sort of person this child will become.

5. The One Who Changed Their Mind

Now, this one is very dangerous. They are a menace and can cause harm. Have you ever come across a carton of fresh milk or packet of meat - wait for it - abandoned at a location other than the chilled section? I once found a tub of yogurt at the coffee section.

Someone (presumably a responsible supermarket staff or a well meaning customer) would spot this and hopefully does NOT put the item back where is belongs. Why? We don't know how long that item had been left out and it could have gone bad. Woe is the person whose misfortune is to pick up such an item from the chiller.

I mean, seriously, if you changed your mind, please put back the item at the chiller where you picked them from. Don't just leave it lying around where it can go bad.

6. The One Who Thinks They/Their Grandpa Owns the Supermarket

I came across another one of these just very this morning. My partner wanted to buy a tub of ice-cream. So we headed to the ice cream section. So I hunted for the ice cream that we bought previously and found the item.

There was a woman there who was picking up two tubs of ice cream. So I stood a respectful distance away to wait for her to finish. Now, this fine specimen, who noticed me looking at the selection of ice cream and clearly waiting for her to clear off, took her own bloody sweet time to pack the tubs of ice cream into plastic bags.

I mean, why don't you move (there was plenty of space) and clear that area so that I can pick my ice cream. But no. She just stood there, taking so much time to complete a simple task. Frankly I felt like punching her in the face. When she finally left, my partner who was observing her, whispered to me "fascinating character" hah...hah...

7. The Payment Counter Hogger

Now this one, I encounter many, many times. This person, after putting away their purchase and making payment, will stand at the payment counter for an eternity. Instead of carting away their bags/trolley and making way for the next customer, this person will take their own sweet time to stare at their receipt or to put their receipt (in slow motion) into their purse/wallet.

Come on. If there is no customer behind you, you can lepak the whole day at the counter also never mind. But if there is another customer, please lah, move away some place else where you are not blocking anyone and take your time to fold your receipt nice nice before you put it into your purse/wallet.

There are a few sub-species of the counter hogger.

- the one who only starts digging into their handbag/wallet at the last minute to search for their loyalty card when asked by the cashier. Inevitably, their card somehow is lost in the Bermuda Triangle that is their handbag/wallet and everyone has to wait for them.

- the one who suddenly realizes that they forgot to pick up an item and expects everyone to wait in line for them while they scramble to find that missing item.

- the one who conveniently forgets to weigh their fresh produce and everyone has to wait for them to run to the weighing counter and back.

- the one who takes an eternity to pack their purchase into their shopping bags.

So there you have it. My pet peeves when going shopping. I am sure you have had your fair share of such encounters with fellow shoppers.