Saturday, 9 October 2021

I Felt Like A Frustrated Housewife

Housewives! I salute you! I can never do your job because I am weak.

I had cooking duties. On top of that, I had my usual housekeeping - vacuum the floor, mop, laundry, clean the toilet and oh God the litter boxes are due for washing, weeds are growing everywhere in the garden etc. You know the drill. My late grandmother used to say that housework NEVER ends. I now see her wisdom.


I know you love your husband and kids and all but I bet sometimes you do wish that you could have a day all to yourself and not do a thing for anyone. Just sit back and relax without a care in the world. No judgement.


I am grateful to my brother for taking very good care of our parents. He provides a comfortable home, food and all the basic amenities. He drove them to and from the hospital when dad had surgery.

My role is very small. I help to procure medical supplies and I cook them simple meals for the week (since my brother is at work and dad is not well enough to go out to buy food like he used to).

I am also eternally grateful to my mum for nursing my dad right from day one when he was diagnosed with cancer. Her dedicated care and love has sustained him for past 20 years. 

And there I was, feeling like a frustrated housewife. But just for that one day. I suffer from depression and sometimes my brain goes bonkers for no reason at all. Writing about it helps a lot. 


Pork porridge - simplest meal in the world  - bone broth + shredded carrots + seasoned minced pork + cooked rice. Boil, boil, boil, kautim! Difficult? No.


Then I cooked dhall for my mum. She said my dhall nice heh..heh..heh...


My simple dhall - lentils, carrots, garlic and ginger - with added fried onions, cumin and curry leaves. Difficult? No.


There you go. These are portioned and go into the freezer. 

That's not the end of my duty.


My partner's turn. These are his meals to add on to some that are already in the freezer. Which means that next weekend I don't have to prep food for him as there is enough for another two weeks.


Then there is all the washing up. 

Then the vacuum cleaning. No. I had no energy to mop the floor. So I did the laundry instead. The litter boxes? Bah! Next week lah.

I don't feel like this all the time. Just that one day. I love cooking for the people I love.

To cheer me up, I poured me (no, not Whisky) a tumbler of blueberry and lemon kefir.


Ah! That felt good!

16 comments:

  1. Sorry to hear about your dad. It is not easy taking care of old folks especially if they are unwell, we had our share of that. One will have to be very strong. We had a helper to help take care of my mum but most of the Indon ones were horrible - ended up getting more stressed with those around. Sometimes we just have to look the other way, forget about all the housekeeping, the cooking and everything - just buy from outside. Be strong.

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    1. Thank you. My dad is very much better now and I am very fortunate that my mum is very capable of nursing my dad. I really cannot imagine what it would be like for me if I had to do the caregiving. I count my blessings and I do whatever I can to help out.

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  2. I think those working from home and yet need to cook and do chore are the stronger bunch. Kudos to you for able to balance between work and home. I am not sure I could do it.

    Good to plan and prepare your meal in advance. Save lots of time

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    1. I admire working mothers especially those that insist on cooking meals for their family when they come home from work. I really would not be able to cope. That's why God kept me single and childless LOL!

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  3. Housework responsibility should be shared amongst family members. Less burden this way. Semua kena sama2 tolong. Housewives also need cuti...penat tau. Baru fizikal & mental can stay healthy.

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    1. Tabik spring pada semua housewife kerana they all gigih tak macam PH. Betul, housewife pun kena cuti sekali sekala.

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  4. Housework never ends. Yes, there were days I felt like not doing any work and felt like packing my bag and go some way peaceful to enjoy some me time. Something which never happens. Lol! It is natural, we have our up and down mood. Thank God it is only once in a long while. I used to complain that I have no me time for myself. Now, I am having plenty of me time.

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    1. hah..hah... I have tried that before - not doing anything on a Sunday but it felt strange and then I got bored just sitting around and watching TV. LOL!

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  5. I love the photo of your kefir drink. Looks so fruity and refreshing. I understand what you mean. My spouse and his sister is taking care of his mother now and there is so much running around because they don't stay together. Hope your father is feeling better and feeling very loved with all the good care that all of you are giving him. Please take good care of yourself! Stay safe! ๐Ÿ™

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    1. Thank you. My mum is doing an excellent job of taking care of my dad and he is very much better now. I hope that your MIL will recover soon.

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    2. Thank you for your wishes and kind words. After consulting many specialists, the reality is her conditions can never recover to be a healthy person so it is just managing her conditions for her to live comfortably and happily till it is her time.

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  6. U have done your best....a pat on ur shoulder! Now tht we can dine out & conveniently order delivery u can opt to not cook for some days. As for the house cleaning/chores it should be a shared responsibilities. So dun blame all to urself if the house is not clean or litter box unattended. Cheer up!

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    1. Thank you. Usually I am OK with all these chores but when my mind becomes "serabut" even simple things appear difficult. Yes, I will cheer up and clear my mind!

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  7. Oh dear, the amount of food prep you have to do...I can understand your frustration...so tired-lah! >_< Perhaps, your partner can look into tapau food for himself at work (when your dad's sick) to lighten your load? I don't think I can tahan cooking/food prepping for 3 persons...adoi, so much work! You hebat-lah! ;)

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    1. Yes, so tiring and it became depressing. That made me feel a tad guilty but I should not be so hard on myself. Everybody, let's eat out! LOL!

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  8. Yes, your grandmother is correct, housework is never ending one, when you done with this, there are another ten house chores waiting for you.....
    You must have a big fridge with spacious freezer to keep all your food prep, don't you? ^__^

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