She's Hot. I'm Not.

FAT is a dirty word. These days we don't say fat but we say plus sized. In other words, women like me have more flesh than you. Flesh, not fat, alright? 

No offence ladies, I'm one of you. You skinny ones, please step aside. You are at the wrong conference.

Now that we've got that straight, let me bring you back to the days when fat plus sized women were celebrated as a thing of beauty. Oh yes. Fat = Beautiful. I was born in the wrong era.

That would be the Renaissance era circa 1300 - 1600. That was a time when realism was a way of expression (air brushing, plastic surgery and special effects did not exist then) and women were considered beautiful and sexy if they were fat. Hah!

Somewhere along the line, some wise guy changed all that. Now, I want to haul that person up for questioning and a spanking or two. But chances are, that person is already dead and gone but his legacy still survives to this day and we fat girls, I mean big girls, are sidelined and made to feel ugly.

Then later on I learnt that in certain societies, big is beautiful. Case in point Mauritania, a country in West Africa, where girls are force fed to fatten them up for marriage. Imagine that. A fat camp! They even have professional force-feeders to get the job done. The food they are fed on - millet, goat/camel milk, dates, figs, couscous with oil - not so appetizing if you ask me.

All in all, I say, let's embrace diversity. Just as we accept people of different races and cultures, let us also accept and learn to appreciate different shapes and sizes. 

When I was a child, it was my mum who initiated food restriction and exercise to make me lose weight. Mum was an advocate of diet and staying slim. She used to jump rope almost everyday to maintain her figure and she looked great in sarong kebayas. Growing up with that sort of standard kind of intimidated me as I was always reminded of my ample girth.

Look, I am not blaming mum for my obsession with my weight and negative body image. She meant well. Had she not intervened, I would be as big as a house with neither the will nor means of keeping my weight in check. 

I think those big girls up there are gorgeous. They obviously have the correct infrastructure. 

Heck, if I could look half as hot as they do at this size, I really don't mind a few extra pounds hanging off me. But no, the only thing hot about me is my hot flashes.